CRAZY TURKEY PUPPET by AXTELL

You might get some use of a couple of these although most are real turkeys.

Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off.


Gobbler said, "Doctor, help me! I can't stop acting like a turkey!"
"I see," said the doctor. "How long have you had this problem?"
"Let me think a second. Mom laid the egg in 1954..."


What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?

If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!

What happened to the turkey that got in a fight?

He got the stuffing knocked out of him.

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims

What key has legs and can't open doors?
A tur-key.


Why did Johnny get such low grades after Thanksgiving?
Because everything is marked down after the holiday.

How do you send a turkey through the mail?
Bird class mail.

Asked to write a composition entitled, "What I'm thankful for on
Thanksgiving," little Timothy wrote, "I am thankfull that I'm not a turkey."

What key has legs and can't open doors?
A Turkey.

Q. What sound does a space turkey make?
A. hubble, hubble, hubble.

Keep your eye off the turkey dressing
It makes him blush!!!!

Why do turkeys always go, "gobble, gobble"?
Because they never learned good table manners!

What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?

If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?
Their AGE.

Why can't you take a turkey to church?
Because they use such FOWL language.

What are the feathers on a turkey's wings called?
Turkey feathers.

What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?
The turkey trot.

Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Yes - a building can't jump at all.

What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus?
Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving.

How can you make a turkey float?
You need 2 scoops of ice cream, some root beer, and a turkey.

What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
Plymouth Rock.

Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
The outside.

Why did they let the turkey join the band?
Because he had the drumsticks.

Why did the police arrest the turkey?
They suspected it of fowl play.

What did the turkey say before it was roasted?
Boy! I'm stuffed!

Why did the Indian chief wear so many feathers?
To keep his wigwam.

What happened to the Pilgrim who was shot at by an Indian?
He had an arrow escape.

How did the Mayflower show that it liked America?
It hugged the shore.

The Axtell Expressions Turkey puppet is going to be the hit of your next show!

O PUMPKIN PIE
(tune: O Christmas Tree)
O Pumpkin pie, O pumpkin pie,
How lovel is your custard.
O Pumpkin pie, O pumpkin pie,
How lovel is your custard.
The whipping cream—
Those snowy peaks,
Or a la mode, for ice cream freaks,
O Pumpkin pie, O Pumpkin pie,
If you only came with mustard.

This song could be worked into an act with an Axtell turkey.

TURKEY TRACKS
(tune: Jingle bells)

Dashing through the streets
Kids and dad and mom
Seeing feathers fly
Chasing after Tom.

He’ll hid behind the barn
Sneak up behind our backs
What fun it is to laugh and sing
And follow turkey tracks.

CHORUS:

Oh, turkey tracks, wings and backs
Drumsticks all the way,
Oh, what fun it is to chase
Tom Turkey night and day.

(repeat)

Tom Miehl, Germany

Near Thanksgiving and Christmas he pretends to be a parrot, or some other inedible bird.

His goal in life is to find Colonel Sanders and thank him for not inventing Kentucky Fried Turkey.

He is the greatest representation of second place. He was ALMOST the national bird! Ben Franklin voted for him, but the eagle won out. This leads to a look at different coins with the eagle on them. The group called the Eagles with their hit songs. The phrase, "Fly like an eagle" would become fly like a turkey. What's so great about a Bald eagle anyway? And an eagle doesn't taste good. (What do they taste like?) Like a California Condor.

The turkey could also write to NBC. He wants to replace the peacock.

I haven't owned a turkey, but I imagine he would fold down into a small box so it would look like a magic trick just popping him out of the box, with the back tail springing into place. That would be his hiding place.

You could have a turkey call contest with audience members. Get a few volunteers and show them how to do a proper turkey call and then vote by applause on who would make the best turkey.

"My wife is a great cook, but everyone agrees that I make a better turkey!"