Old lady jokes by Tony Borders (Nina’s are below):
G: That reminds me of my late husband.
T: When did he die?
G: He hasn’t died yet. He’s just always late. Come to think of it, he’s late for that too!
G: I buried my husband last winter.
T: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know. I hadn't heard that he died.
G: I never said he died.
T: To what do you owe your long life?
G: I owe most of it to the mortgage company, and the doctor, and the bank…
G: I made out my will the other day. And I can tell you, you’re not in it!
T: That’s fine. I have everything I need.
G: How are you going to take care of yourself?
T: What do you mean?
G: You’re a grown man and you still play with dolls. What are you going to do for a living?
T: I’m a ventriloquist!
G: That doesn’t answer the question! (pause) Who’s going to support you when I’m gone?
T: Who do you think is supporting YOU?
G: (Looks at feet.) My stockings!
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