INTERACTIVE PUPPET PERFORMANCE TAPES

“CHRISTMAS BIRD” 5 min.

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FOR USE WITH AXTELL’S DODO OR VERN BIRD PUPPETS AND THE “BIRD ARM ILLUSION”

PROPS NEEDED: CANDY CANE

DIV. OF AXTELL EXPRESSIONS! (805) 642-7282

WRITTEN AND PERFORMED BY: STEVE AXTELL

SPECIAL CONTRIBUTOR: BILL BOLEY

MUSIC, SOUND EFFECTS AND ENGINEERING BY: GREG JACKSON

RECORDED AT TREEHOUSE PRODUCTIONS AND AXTELL ENTERTAINMENT

LEGAL NOTICE: By purchasing this routine you have the right to perform this routine and its musical components in live performances only. Not for use on television or on video productions without written permission. Limited Warranty of 3 weeks to replace damaged media. No refunds on electronic media.

SEE OTHER AXTRAX AVAILABLE FOR THE MAGIC DRAWING BOARD AND AXTELL PUPPETS AT www.axtell.com

CD TRACK #1: PERFORMANCE - Does not include your practice lines - use this to perform live.

CD TRACK #2: REHEARSAL - Includes your practice lines (YOU) that you will perform live.

CD TRACKS #3-10: MUSIC ONLY- For vents who want to do both parts and cue the music. Cues are numbered in the script.

#3: Up on the Housetop

#4: Jingle Bells open

#5: Me, Me, Me

#6: All the Way…

#7: Oh What Fun…

#8: Violin

#9: Open Sleigh…

#10: Finale

PAUSES HAVE BEEN LEFT IN THE RECORDING TO ANTICIPATE AUDIENCE LAUGHTER

YOU CAN MODIFY THE (YOU) LINES TO FIT YOUR PERSONALITY. REWRITE AND BE CREATIVE!

SOUND ADVISE: You can perform this routine by playing the CD on a quality "boom box" portable stereo player in small areas, or over a professional sound system in large areas such as an auditorium or outside. Do not play on a small inexpensive CD player because the sound will distort when you try to play it loudly.

The CD should be played with plenty of volume. Kids will be laughing hard and will miss the routine if it is too quiet,

and adults may keep laughter to a minimum for fear of missing parts of the program. The volume of the CD should be

set about the same as if you were speaking over a microphone to be heard by the group, or louder.

(Have a candy cane hooked over your pocket near the bird, if desired)

#3: Up on the Housetop

NOTE: If you want to put on a glove - use the one available, or you can skip the above. If you don’t need the time of the song to get into the Bird Arm Illusion, or you are in a variety show (one of many acts in a show) you may choose to use the music to give yourself a longer introduction, or start the CD at the next song “Jingle Bells”. Have fun, be creative!

DURING MUSIC - Go to your cover of a trunk lid etc. And while you put on the bird arm illusion and puppet act like you are struggling with the bird and throw some feathers up into the air. You can get colored feathers from any craft shop. Make your bird squawk and carry on! Then slowly come out with the bird, holding him by the chest as if to keep him from flying away.

You can also make the Arm and Puppet very easy to slip into by setting up yours in the following manner: Mount the bird arm to a coffee can (with both ends cut out) or similar rigid tube. After the Velcro has been attached around the can, put the bird puppet on over the can and the bird arm strap. Your bird is now one unit with the can and arm. You can slip into the can quite quickly this way!

(Approach your audience with the bird) (LAUGHTER)

#4: Jingle Bells

YOU: Sit - Stay. Good bird. Just relax and listen to the music.

BIRD: (begins swaying to the music.) (LAUGHTER)

YOU: This is my pet bird, and I’ve taught him to talk. Can you say “hello” to the folks?

BIRD: Hello to the folks! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. (LAUGHTER)

YOU: Now, why don’t you tell them your name.

BIRD: Ah.....ha! Ah, ah ha ha ha ha ha ha...........(lip smacks) (LAUGHTER)

YOU: What? Go ahead, tell them your name.

BIRD: I forgot it. (LAUGHTER)

YOU: You forgot your name?

BIRD: Yup. I forgot my name. Could you tell them my name for me?

YOU: Surely… (You start to tell them but he interrupts).

BIRD: Shirley! That’s right. That’s my name! (To audience) My name is Shirley! (LAUGHTER)

YOU: No, your name is not Shirley, your name is (name of puppet).

NOTE: You can name your bird any name you choose.

BIRD: Oh yeah, that’s right. (Sniffs candy cane in your pocket) Hey, what’s that?

YOU: (Pulling it out of your pocket, or pointing to it) It’s a candy cane!

NOTE: You may decide not to have a real one, or you may forget to put it in your pocket, so you can just refer to it in your breast pocket without showing it. However, if you forget to wear a breast pocket, just pretend or point to another pocket!

BIRD: Is it for me?

YOU: Well, yes it is, and I’m going to give it to you right after you sing that Christmas song I taught you?

BIRD: What song?

YOU: (Whisper in his hear) Jingle Bells.

BIRD: Oh yeah, that song.

YOU: Do you remember it?

BIRD: Well, I remember all of it except for one part.

YOU: What part is that?

BIRD: The WORDS! (LAUGHTER)

YOU: Well, I’ll help you with it. You go ahead and announce the song to the audience.

BIRD: Ok. I will now sing a very popular Christmas song, one that everybody knows called...a...a...what’s it called again? (LAUGHTER)

YOU: (Yelling) Jingle bells!

BIRD: Oh yeah, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ..of course. How could I forget? Bingle Jells! (LAUGHTER)

YOU: No, not Bingle Jells - Jingle Bells!

BIRD: Oh yeah, Jingle Bells. Okay, I’m ready. Hit it, maestro!

#5: Me, Me, Me (intro piano roll)

BIRD: Me....Me.....Me.....Me...Me.....

(Piano hits the one isolated note repeatedly and deliberately!!!!)

BIRD: Me.....Me......Me....Me ......Me..

(Detuned Piano repeats the keys)

BIRD: There you go perfect! (LAUGHTER)

(piano roll)

NOTE: Have the bird sing out toward the audience, and only look over to you when he talks to you, or when he needs a prompt from you.

Jingle Bells......What’s next? (LAUGHTER)

YOU: Jingle Bells!

BIRD: I just sang that! (LAUGHTER)

YOU: Again, you sing it two times.

BIRD: You’re kidding! (LAUGHTER) ‘Musta been a 2 for 1 special! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! (LAUGHTER)

YOU: Now go ahead and start from the beginning.

BIRD: Okay, here we go....

#6 All the Way (piano 3 count)

Jingle bells,

Jingle Bells... (looks at your)

YOU: (Spoken) Jingle all the way.

BIRD: Jingle all the way through the whole song? (LAUGHTER)

YOU: No, there are other words. Now start over, please.

BIRD: Okay. Here we go from the top and I ain’t gonna stop.

YOU: (Correcting his English) I’m NOT going to stop.

BIRD: Good, cause I ain’t gonna stop neither!

Jingle Bells,

Jingle all the way....ooooooh.....I’m sorry. (looks at you for prompt) (LAUGHTER)

YOU: Oh what fun.

BIRD: Well, I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself! (LAUGHTER)

YOU: No, (name of puppet), that’s the next line in the song.

BIRD: Daaaaaa, oh yeah! That’s right!

#7: O What Fun (piano 3 count)

Oh what fun

It is to ride in a ... (looks at you)

YOU: Well, what’s fun to ride in?

BIRD: A roller coaster. (LAUGHTER)

YOU: Yes, well, but the song says “a one horse open sleigh”!

BIRD: A one horse open sleigh? (LAUGHTER) Why only one horse? Can’t he have a friend with him? (LAUGHTER)

YOU: I didn’t write the song, (name of puppet). Just sing it with one horse, okay?

BIRD: This is a very sad song.....I bet the one horse is very lonely.

#8: Violin

NOTE: Violin begins to add sorrow to the bit - roll your eyes and shake your head with your eyes closed, getting annoyed as he speaks.

It probably wishes he didn’t have to work on Christmas, I bet the little horsey wishes that he was with his family so he could open presents and.......

YOU: (grab his beak and hold it closed)

BIRD: .......mmmmmmmmmmmmm.

YOU: Could you just finish the song, please?

BIRD: (Shakes head “yes”, while you’re still holding beak) mmmm-humm!

YOU: Okay, great! (Release beak) You were doing real good, (name of puppet). Now, go ahead- from the top ...ready?

BIRD: W’okay!

#9: Open Sleigh… (piano 3 count)

Jingle bells,

Jingle all the way.

Oh what fun it is to ride

In a one horse open sleigh.....

(With bird’s mouth open, start to move his head forward and stop as if he forgot the next word, then turn his head toward you for a prompt)

YOU: “Hey”.

BIRD: What?

YOU: “HEY”!

BIRD: (Yelling) WHAT?

YOU: “Hey” is next in the song!

BIRD: There’s hay is in the song? (LAUGHTER) Oh Good - at least our little horsey will have something to eat for Christmas.

YOU: (start to say something)

#10: Finale (piano 3 count)

BIRD: Jingle bells,

Jingle bells,

Jingle all the way,

Oh what fun it is to ride

In a one horse open sleigh, hey! ........

(You’re really excited and counting the beats with your hand)

Jingle bells,

Jingle all the way.

And now the big finish...

Oh what fun it is to ride in a…

(piano bass octave roll - drum roll style)

one ... ( Looks at you - you nod approvingly and then he looks to audience.)

horse.... (Looks at you - you nod approvingly and then he looks to audience.)

o-... (Looks at you - you nod approvingly and then he looks to audience.)

pen...... (Looks at you - you nod approvingly and then he looks to audience.)

NOTE: You are really excited and rooting for him to finish the song and getting the words right....you keep the excitement right up to the last words, then roll your eyes, or slap your head for a laugh)

Roller Coaster! Ha ha ha ha ! (LAUGHTER)

NOTE: You throw your hand into the air giving up, and just laugh it off.

YOU: Thank you! (Wave to audience if leaving, or say the thank you to the bird as you put him away)

(Music takes you out and you hand the bird the candy cane as you exit.)

NOTE: This makes a great closing act for a Christmas show.

END

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