
“OLD
MACDONALD” 5 min.

© COPYRIGHT 2002 AXTRAX PUBLISHING
WRITTEN AND PERFORMED BY: STEVE
AXTELL
SPECIAL CONTRIBUTORS: BILL BOLEY,
GREG JACKSON & RYAN AXTELL
MUSIC, SOUND EFFECTS AND
ENGINEERING BY: GREG JACKSON
LEGAL NOTICE:
By purchasing this routine you have the right to perform this routine
and its musical components in live performances only. Not for use on television or on video productions without
written permission. Limited Warranty of
3 weeks to replace damaged media. No
refunds on electronic media.
©Copyright and Trademark Axtell Expressions,
Inc. All rights reserved.
CD TRACK
#1: Performance (Does not include your practice lines - use this to perform
live.)
CD TRACK
#2: Rehearsal (Includes your practice lines (YOU)
that you will perform live.)
CDTRACKS #3-10:
(Music only. For vents who want to do both parts and cue the music. Cues
are
numbered in the script.)
#3: Opening
music
#4: Squeaky
back FX
#5: Siren FX
#6: Chorus
#7: Goof-up
#8: Animals
#9: Finale
#10:
Closing music
PAUSES HAVE BEEN LEFT IN THE RECORDING TO ANTICIPATE
AUDIENCE LAUGHTER
YOU CAN MODIFY THE (YOU) LINES TO FIT YOUR PERSONALITY. REWRITE AND BE CREATIVE!
SOUND ADVISE: You can perform this routine by playing the CD on a
quality "boom box" portable stereo player in small areas, or over a
professional sound system in large areas such as an auditorium or outside. Do
not play on a small inexpensive CD player because the sound will distort when
you try to play it loudly.
The CD should be played with plenty of volume. Kids will be laughing hard and will miss the
routine if it is too quiet, and adults may keep laughter to a minimum for fear
of missing parts of the program. The
volume of the CD should be set about the same as if you were speaking over a
microphone to be heard by the group, or louder.
It is best to have
the CD played over a public address system and have the soundman preset the
volume level to be compatible with the your microphone level.
Begin your
presentation with the Storyteller
puppet in a case or off-stage out of view.
(#3) OPENING MUSIC
YOU: Hey, everyone! How many
of you have heard the song “Old MacDonald Had A Farm”? (audience response) Well, we have a very
special guest for you today: it’s Old MacDonald himself. Let’s give him a big
round of applause Bring him out looking at the ground and back at you
nervously).
Mac: Ooh
no! Uhh…careful now. Don’t drop me- it’s a l-o-n-g way down there (he leans
over horizontally staring at the ground).
You: Well,
don’t worry. I won’t let you fall.
Mac: (Looking
up at you) Oh no, I’m stuck. Can you help me up?
You: Oh,
sure.
(#4) SQUEAKY FX (Pull on his elbow to lift him back upright
during sound effect.)
Mac: (Slowly
turns) Thank you.
You: You’re
welcome.
Mac: You
know, I like to keep my feet on the ground. I’m and old farmer.
You: How
old are you, anyway, 70?
Mac: 70!!…ha, ha,
ha,…70!!…ha, ha, ha…oooh!
(He
begins laughing, becoming hysterical- loses his balance)
You: Careful now, don’t fall.
Mac: Oh
no, it’s a l-o-n-g way down there.
(#4) SQUEAKY
FX
(He leans over horizontally staring at the ground- his back creaks again
as you lift him up).
Ah……Thank
you.
You: You’re welcome. Old
MacDonald, so, how old are you? Are you 80?
Mac: Hah!
Not even close.
You: OK…90?
Mac: (Shakes head and chuckles)…Nah, I’m so old that at my last birthday party, they had to call the fire department to help me blow out the candles! Hah!
(#5) SIREN FX
You: (laugh)
Mac: I’m
a very old antique, so don’t drop me- hah… it’s a l-o-n-g way down there (he
stays down staring below). Uuh…nice shoes. . (He comments while looking down)
(#4) SQUEAKY
FX. (His back creaks as you help
him up again).
Ah, Thank you.
You: You’re welcome. Now Old
MacDonald, tell us about that famous song.
Mac: Well,
it’s a really catchy tune. Goes like this:
(#6) Old MacDonald had a
farm
G-I-G-I Joe…
You: Excuse
me…don’t you mean E-I-E-I-O?
Mac: E-I-E-I-Oh
yeah, I keep forgettin’. Huh! You know, there’s two ways to tell if you’re getting
old: one is a loss of memory, the second, ( Scrunch his face down by pulling
down on your pinky and index fingers in his eyebrows) ...I forget.
Oh
well, here we go:
(#7) Old MacDonald had a
farm
E-I-K-L—M---N---O----Q… (becoming
confused)
You: Old
MacDonald?
Mac: Oh
no, I forgot it again…aah. Hey, how ‘bout if you help me sing that part,
would ya’?
You: Sure, we’ll do that,
won’t we? (audience response)
Mac: OK…
(#7) Old MacDonald had a
farm…
All: E-I-E-I-O
(you encourage audience to sing here)
Mac: And
on this farm I had a cow…
All: E-I-E-I-O
Mac: …Yeah, yeah, old Bessie… you know, and I, and I had a horse...hee hee...and I, and I had a few chickens too...don’t forget the pigs...and then there was the ducks (laughs) little wobblin’ back and forth when they walk... I had a dog…and a couple of cats...oh, and Smittie the goldfish (laughs)...and an armadilla and a gorilla, or was it a gorilla with an umbrella? I don’t know.
You: (Interrupting
him- you act like you are talking, but he can’t hear you).
Mac: Huh? What? Hang...hang on a minute…(turns away
from you and yells into the air)
Q-U-I-E-T!! (all noise stops)
(Old
Mac turns directly to you) How can I
help ya’?
You: Could we finish the song,
please?
Mac: What
song? O yeah, ha…I was getting’ to that. And now for the big finish:
(#9) Old MacDonald had a
farm,
E-I------E-I-------Oooooooo…
Mac: …Ooooh...careful now,
it’s a l-o-n-g way down there (he bends down again as you laugh).
(#10) CLOSING MUSIC
You: Ha, ha…thank you, Old MacDonald, for coming in today (You are struggling to keep him from falling). Give him a big round of applause.
(#4) SQUEAKY FX (He
sits upright during the sound effect) Ooh…careful, careful...thank you.
NOTE: You won’t be able to pull him
up by his elbow because you will be holding him with both hands, so make a
deliberate act of helping him upright and it will look like you helped him with
your other hidden hand.