ALL AMERICAN BIRD PUPPET by Axtell

Bird - I am the All American Bird.

You - Is that right?

Bird - Yup! I know everything about America.

You - Well then tell me, who was the first President?

Bird - That's easy it's Uncle Sam!

You - Nonsense, it was George Washington.

Bird - Oh yeah that's right.....

You - They say he chopped down a cherry tree.

Bird - That's so he could make his wooden teeth?

YOU - Who was Abraham Lincoln?

Bird - Oh yes, he was the president of Lincoln Log toy company.....

You - You are silly. Do you know about the founding fathers?

Bird - I didn't even know they were lost!

You - You're too much. I thought you knew your American History.

What bird is the symbol of America?

Bird - A bird is the symbol of America?

You - Yes, what is it? You should know this.

Bird - Hummm..... A Dodo? A goose? A Turkey?

You - No a bald Eagle.

Bird - He must have been a symbol for a long time..

You - Yes he has.

Bird - that's probably why he's bald.

Bird - Well I know everything about history as long as it wasn't a long time ago.

You - You mean current events?

Bird - Something like that....

You - Okay, who is the president of the United States today.

Bird - that's easy. President Bush.

You - That's right! Fantastic. Finally you're getting it. What can you tell us about him?

Bird - Well I'll just say that you're lucky holding me instead of him right now.

You - Why do you say that?

Bird - Because they say a Bird in hand is worth 2 in the Bush.

You - You're silly. He's got a very hard job you know.

Bird - Yeah I know. He has to keep this country safe from Terradactals...

You - You mean terrorism.

Bird - That too. We have to protect this great country we live in.

You - It is a great country

Bird - I have freedom here

You - Yes you do

Bird - I can fly anywhere I want to....

You - Yes you can

Bird - I can say anything I want to...

You - Yes you can...

Bird - I can sing anything I want to....

You - Wait a minute, you aren't going to sing here...

Bird - Why not?

You - Because we don't have time.

Bird - But isn't this America?

You - Yes it is...

Bird - Don't we have freedoms?

You - Sure we do...in the right place and time...

Bird - But this is a song about America.

You - It is?

Bird - I was....HATCHED....in the USA, I was.... HATCHED in the USA.....(To the tune of Bruce Springteen's Born in the USA )

You - Okay now...

Bird - I'm just kidding....you know being a bird gives me a chance to see things you people don't from down there on the ground. (patriotic music starts up) From up here, I can see you people working together, people helping each other in times of need, .... it's the greatest place on earth. I know cause I fly everywhere.... I can look down on any given day and see children learning in the schools and playing outside, and some going freely with their families to churches and temples.....yessir...it's a wonderful place...and I'm proud to be an American Bird......

(singing some patriotic song - probably best to do it straight if it's you're ending song)

God bless America

Land that I love.

Stand beside her, and guide her

Through the night with a light from above.

From the mountains,

To the prairies,

To the oceans white with foam.

God bless America,

My home, sweet home.

God bless America

My home, sweet home.

Back to the Bird puppet Page

I'm excited about the All American Bird puppet that I just ordered and can't wait for him to come in so I can put him in my school and library shows. I will call him SAM and introduce him as my very shy friend. Unfortunately, I am NOT a vent so I will interact with SAM by way of having him whisper his dialog in my ear. Since SAM is an All American Bird, I wanted to use him in a patriotic routine which will segue into an illusion using Barry Mitchell's "Flag-O-Matic" (a unique 'mis-made' Americal flag apparatus and routine).

I plan to tell the audience that SAM claims to be an expert on American history and then ask SAM some very basic questions to test his knowledge.

This is just a rough draft but I wanted to share it with you.

Me: SAM, you say you know a lot about American history, please tell the boys and girls in the audience who our very first president was.

LONG PAUSE - BLANK STARE

SAM: I forgot.

Me: You forgot. How can you forget someting so important as the name of our very first president. I'll give you a hint.

(slowly draw out the name . . . . .) G-e-o-r-g-e

SAM: George Mullican

Me: No Sam, MY name is George Mullican, but our first president had the same first name of George as well. Now, what is his last name.

LONG PAUSE - BLANK STARE

SAM: I forgot.

Me: Okay Sam. Let me give you another hint.

(slowly draw out the name . . . . .) G-e-o-r-g-e W-a-s-h-i-n-g ......

SAM: George Washing Machine.

Me: No Sam. Not George WASHING MACHINE

TURN TO BOYS AND GIRLS IN THE AUDIENCE AND HAVE THEM TELL SAM THE NAME

Kids: George Washington

SAM: I knew that.

Me: Okay Sam, who is our president right now?

LONG PAUSE - BLANK STARE

SAM: I forgot.

Me: Okay Sam, I'll give you another hint

(slowly draw out the name . . . . .) G-e-o-r-g-e

SAM: George Mullican

Me: No Sam, that's MY name.

SAM: YOU are our President?

Me: No silly, I am not the President, but his name is George, too.

SAM: George Washington!

Me: No Sam. George Washington was our FIRST President, but our current President's name is George, too.

SAM: George Too?

Me: No, not George Too! But, here's another hint. His name is George Bu-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u . . . . . . . .

SAM: George Buuuuuuuuuuuu! What kind of name is that?

Me: Our current President's name is George Bush.

SAM: Yeah, that's it! George Bushington.

Me: Sam, our President's name is Mr. George Bush and his father was a President too. His name is George Bush.

SAM: I'm so confused!

Me: Sam, maybe you'd better go read up on your American history some more. I'm sure the library here has some great books about our American Presidents.

SAM: You're right, I will. But first, what's that strange contraption over there?

Me: Oh, that's a Flag-O-Matic and it's a super duper flag manufacturing machine. In fact, I'm going to ask someone from the audience to come up and help me try to make a flag right now. Say goodbye to the boys and girls.

SAM WAVES WING

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Well, that's it for now. I'm sure it will take some 'tweeking' but I can't wait to use it when SAM, the All American Bird comes in.

If you or anyone else can use this routine, please feel free.

George Mullican